Baked Pumpkin Wontons

I made these on Saturday and it took me a while to get Chase to try them due to the fact that he was busy updating my Iphone. See, electronic updating rates on my priority list right below cleaning the underside of my coffee table with a toothbrush. Chase however, will have trouble sleeping at night if any of our electronic devices are not fully updated at all times, so when I  started poking him in the ribs saying he needed to taste these pumpkin wontons RIGHT NOW, he avoided eye contact and tried to act like I wasn’t there, even though I could totally see him flinching from my pointy finger jabs. And then I said, in my most threatening voice, that if he doesn’t eat one right this second IT’S GOING TO GET COLD and he still continued to fiddle with my phone, proving that obviously someone’s priorities are seriously out of whack and they are sooo not mine.

However, when he tried one 30 minutes later, I finally got the acknowledgment that “oh yeah these are really good.”

Then he actually GOT UP and came over to the kitchen to take another one off the plate.

And then later I had to yell at him because he was still eating wontons and I was MAKING DINNER and he was going to fill up on dessert, and I got scared cause not only do I sound EXACTLY like my Mother, but I was addressing my husband and not a small child and there is something wrong with this picture.

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Holiday Plans

This is an actual voicemail my Aunt Sara left me last week. Seriously people – I  CANNOT make this shit up.

A little background – I suggested to my stepfather (Henry) that I thought it would be nice for us to host a holiday get-together and that maybe I could do something a little different by cooking a “Feast of the Seven Fishes” which is a Italian seafood meal typically cooked at Christmas time. So, I asked him to just throw it out there when holiday plans were being discussed, and 24hrs later I got this from my Aunt Sara.

A message to Sara: although you have taught me that one should not ever try to f*@k with your Christmas Eve dinner, I hope you have now learned that you should never f@#k with a girl that has a blog. Love ya honey, bye!

**Please note** – this voicemail is NOT rated G. Plan accordingly.

Frozen Biscuit Magic

So yeah, I kinda feel like I talked up this post. Like, I totally promised you something amazing and now I’m having performance anxiety. But not the sexual kind. As much as I love biscuits I don’t find anything erotic about them. You understand, right? But basically, I feel like I need to totally blow your mind with this biscuits post. But not in a sexual way…but I already said that.

This is not off to a good start.

But hey, these are biscuits, which are totally awesome all by themselves, right? And really, I want to give you information that’s going to be useful first thing in the morning, before you’ve had a cup of coffee, brushed your teeth or thought for the millionth time “Why can’t I find job that would let me show up at noon but still leave by 6pm??” And really, that early in the day anything is mind-blowing. So, if you aren’t amazed when you read this right now, just wait until you make these biscuits at 6am. Total game changer.

Here’s the thing – I am a breakfast person. I need food in the morning so that I don’t run people off the road when they turn without signalling, or tell people to f#@k off when they ask how my day is. Seriously, the world is safer if I eat breakfast before I leave my apartment. And I am not a cereal person. If I’m going to get out of bed the least that someone can provide me is a hot breakfast. Of course, that “someone” is me so I have to come up a plan for a hot breakfast that is easy to make, or it will ultimately end up in me throwing a frying pan across the kitchen when the egg yolk breaks. Egg yolks breaking at 6am?  That. Is. Not. Acceptable.

My solution is frozen biscuits. Because I can make & flash freeze them on the weekend. Because first thing in the morning all I have to do is turn on the oven and slide them in. Because I can have a hot and filling breakfast that is reallllllyyyy hard to screw up.

Let’s begin:

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The Pumpkin Dance

I really wanted to post today about biscuits, but I just haven’t been able to get my head around it. I’ve had a significant lack of sleep the last few days, and as I type these sentences I am suffering from a stomachache. Probably because I ate too much bread spider. So…trying to edit photos of biscuits when you’re sick from eating bread has just proven to be a disaster. But seriously, I’m gonna post it soon, and it’s gonna rock your socks. Cause it’s about biscuits. Be prepared.

In the meantime, this is something to get you in the Halloween spirit. Cause is there really anything that’s going to get you in the spirit better than a man dancing around in a black leotard stretched over his beer gut? I think not.

DIY Make Up Holder


Let’s get something straight right now – I am not a crafty, DIY kind of person.  Pinterest, however, has begun to warp my brain. I have now spent enough hours looking at adorable little projects that I am actually starting to think that I could make a coffee table out of palates, a chandelier out of wine bottles or maybe I could even…sew something! Obviously I have been huffing on something a little too strong cause I can’t even darn socks. Mainly cause I don’t know what that means. I mean, when someone says “darn” socks I think that it’s like you stand over a pile of socks and yell “Darn you socks!” over and over again. Probably because you have 20 single socks with no pair, and how is that even possible when you’ve never bought 20 different types of socks? I mean, really, who’s pink sock is this cause it is NOT mine!

But I digress…

Seriously though, this was maybe the easiest project ever. All you need are coffee beans, an old candle votive and some spray paint, and it too me less than an hour to complete. Well… not if you’re including the time it took to go to Michael’s and buy spray paint and I had to fight through all the Mommy Halloween craft *itches, and then a store clerk had to get the paint out of a locked cage and escort it to the cash register because apparently that stuff is a hotter item than Sudafed these days.

Sorry everyone, the coffee was extra strong today. But… if you have spray paint on hand then this will definitely take you less than an hour. Here’s what you do:

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One year.

This was taken exactly one year ago today, on the day that I married Chase, my best friend, my lover, my support system, my hand-holder, my recipe taster, my confidant, my man.

I can only hope the rest of my years of marriage will be as good as the first.

The Taste Gap – An Artist’s PSA

I first saw this video a year ago and was absolutely floored by it. It was like, FINALLY, someone is addressing this recurring issue that I seem to feel whenever I create. Nowadays, it could almost become my personal mantra. In light of my last post, I thought that now would be an appropriate time to share it. If you are an artist, or a blogger, or someone that just likes to paint pottery in the privacy of your own home, you NEED to hear this. And keep making art. That is the most important thing you can do.

Photography Struggles + Fig, Ricotta and Lemon Crostini

I have been in a bit of a photo funk lately. I feel like I am experiencing less and less of those magic moments of taking a photo I consider to be truly beautiful, and am more and more often disappointed with what I have when I download my images.

I think it really started when I read Plate To Pixel from cover to cover. Not to blame Helene from Tartlette at all, but trying to compare my photos to hers is already setting me up for failure. It’s like taping up photos of flawless supermodels while I try on bathing suits. The other problem with this book is that although it is utterly inspiring with its advice on food styling, the skills that she writes about just do not come naturally to me.

You see, it is not in my nature to style photographs. When I take pictures of people, I try to give them minimal direction and instead adjust myself to them in hopes of capturing a beautiful moment. The same holds true when I try to photograph things I think to be beautiful. I do not like to interfere; I like to capture the moment/object/location as it is.

Food photography, however, is an entirely different beast. The best food photographs, the ones that really suck us in, have been worked and manipulated to achieve that appetizing appearance. My preference would be to simply cook the dish, plate how I would normally eat it, and then snap photos. This used to be enough to satisfy me, but lately, I feel the need to stretch beyond my comfort zone and try more interesting plating styles, to use different textures or backgrounds or to incorporate props. But since these aren’t skills that come naturally to me, I find myself struggling to work the dish into the vision I’m trying to achieve. I look at the photos and think they are cheap knock-offs of what other people actually do remarkably well. Or sometimes, I just feel like I missed the mark altogether.

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Dogs, Dresses and Dances

I went to Charleston this past weekend for a wedding.

I walked down to the beach. The very same one that Chase and I were married on only a year ago. I wish that I would have had time to lounge in beach chairs with a rum beverage, but sadly that will have to wait for another anniversary trip, especially since Chase was stuck at work and couldn’t make it this time.

I did find the time to send Chase the above photo with the caption “Wish you were here.”

Hi, my name is Caroline and I am a shameless cheese ball.

I met my sister’s new greyhound, who originally came with the name “Judge” that was promptly changed to “Dobby”. Obviously he was way too silly looking for something as dignified boring as Judge.

And BTW – no, that is not a dead dog in the photo above, it just happens to be what Dobby looks like about 90% of the time. Apparently greyhounds are actually some of the laziest dogs you can have, exhibiting about as much energy on average as a lethargic sloth. For my sister, who is in her final year of residency and barely has time to change clothes or feed herself between shifts, this type of dog is exactly the sort of companion she needs.

Oh, and the fact that you can pile things on top of him and he is far to lazy to actually move away? That’s just the cherry on top. It would be a shame to tell you how much time I wasted doing this while I was there. It’s also a shame that my sister didn’t have more plush toys lying around, cause my skills in stacking were definitely not pushed to their limits.

The highlight of the weekend – I tried to iron my dress and totally BURNED A HOLE IN IT an HOUR before the wedding started!@#!$&!! This was immediately followed by me trying to act like I was fine in front of my stepfather, (No really, I mean, it’s only brand new and made of shimmery fabric, but I really didn’t like it anyway) which was then followed with a phone call to Chase that resulted in a total tearful meltdown which would have been more fitting if a real tragedy had occurred or if I was four and had lost my favorite My Little Pony (That shit will scar you for life).

Finally, I put my big girl panties on… drove to a nearby Kohl’s… bought a dress and…went to the wedding. See? I am totally getting better at being an grown-up.

And oh yeah, there was a wedding. It was beautiful, and was immediately followed by this first dance from the bride and groom, which should give you an idea of what kind of a couple they are together.

Chris & Morgan – I will be sure to hang onto this video so your future children have something to roll their eyes at. I love you and you’re welcome.