Chilled Avocado Pasta

Okay, let’s cut the crap on this recipe. I’m ashamed to admit that after reading the ingredients lists on various avocado pasta sauces that I didn’t immediately catch on to what I was reading. It was only after I had put everything in the food processor (avocado, lime juice, garlic, cilantro) that suddenly I had a strong feeling of deja vu. And then it dawned on me – this is a freaking guacamole recipe, blended up until smooth and creamy, then poured over pasta. This would be the moment that I thought I had made a mistake. I mean…guacamole on pasta? This can’t possibly turn out well. But at this point the pasta was cooked and everything else was in the processor just waiting to be blended, so I whipped it up anyway.

I sat on my couch and took a bite…and it was really freaking weird…and sort of good. So I took another bite. Before I knew it I had eaten the WHOLE FREAKIN BOWL. Chase didn’t even get a chance to taste it. Except now I can’t get this stuff out of my mind, so I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a quite a bit more in the future.

On a random note – bear with me if I’m not around much in the next couple weeks. Chase and I put out a final call for family & friends to come visit us in Los Angeles, and apparently they all got together and decided they would visit on back to back weekends. The Italian in me believes that my ability as a hostess is directly related to how much food I give them, and so if I’m not on this blog much it’s because there is someone in my house and I feel like I have to bake them biscuits or whip up some mashed potatoes.

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At least I don’t own a cat

Although Julia Child originally became famous for her French cookbook, these days whenever I hear her quoted it is always in regard to her attitude toward mistakes. That is, that they happen and they are no excuse to fall apart. And saying something out loud to your guests can only makes things worse, not better. More than any recipe, I think this attitude is her greatest contribution to home cooks.

The next time I am cooking for my family, friends, or in-laws and I realize that I’ve forgotten an ingredient, or the dish doesn’t taste as good as it has in the past, or I’m just all around not confident in the recipe, I will try to remember this.

Also – it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who has served stew that a cat had fallen into.

I’m kidding. It was spaghetti sauce.

Sweet and Spicy Carrot Soup

Let’s play a game. I’m going to tell you five things, and you have to guess which one is false. Ready? Let’s go:

1) I finally broke down and bought the book, “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

2) I blushed a little typing the sentence above.

3) Last week I was chopping a jalapeno, and then I picked my nose (totally gross, I know) and suddenly my nostrils were on fire. Then, jalapeno infused snot started dripping out my nose onto my upper lip and then my ENTIRE FACE was on fire. And I couldn’t figure out what to do, so I tried to use a neti pot to clean everything out, but I must have used it wrong because the water just gave me an immediate headache that caused me to sit down on my kitchen floor and pray that my head would just go ahead and explode since that seemed less painful.

4) Eventually I picked myself up off the floor, and vowed never to pick my nose ever again. At least, not when dealing with spicy foods.

5)I made a soup with banana in it, which seemed totally ridiculous to me at the time, but was actually incredibly delicious.

Okay, ready for the answer?

They’re all true. I know, I’m a total cheater. Don’t hate.

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Little Town, Full of Little People

I have no idea who Todrick Hall is, only that he was apparently on American Idol, but didn’t win, so now he makes these YouTube videos. I was inclined to think this video was going to be super lame, partially because this guy is from American Idol and also because I love “Beauty & the Beast” and don’t want anyone messing with it, but I will take this time now to admit I was wrong. Very wrong. Enjoy :)

Smoked Salmon Sandwich with Lemon Ricotta

Making this sandwich resulted in a fight between me and Chase. You might be wondering how people can get into a fight about smoked salmon and ricotta sandwiched between two pieces of bread, since there’s absolutely nothing about that that isn’t just delightful, but it all comes down to some poorly timed texts and Ralph’s stocking some weird varieties of bread. Also, Chase and I probably shouldn’t talk to each other before we have our morning coffee.

Chase was out running errands early in the morning and I asked him to pick up a French bread baguette on his way home. Simple enough. Then, since I figured there was no way this could possibly go wrong, I hopped in the shower, only to discover when I got out that he had sent me a text asking if I wanted the “crunchy French baguette” or the “sweet French baguette.” Okay, I’ve heard of different varieties of baguettes like, “wheat,” “sourdough,” or “multi-grain,” but who the heck distinguishes their bread by crunchiness and sweetness? Seriously Ralph’s, get it together.

At any rate, sweet bread and smoked salmon sounded gross, so I texted Chase that I wanted the crunchy bread, but since he sent the original text over 15 minutes ago, he had already made a decision himself and was now moments away from walking in our door. And, since he’s a Southern boy and assumes that more sugar is always the solution, he had the sweet baguette in tow.

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Definitively Annoying

Chase is not a fan of definitive statements. And by not a fan, I mean that he will dance around saying them until I am 5 seconds away from stabbing him in the eye. Here’s how a typical conversation about breakfast goes in our house:

Me: Do you want eggs for breakfast?

Chase: I would eat some eggs.

Me: Right, but is that what you want, or would you prefer something else?

Chase: I mean, eggs are fine. I’ll eat them.

Me: This isn’t a trick question or anything, I can make you something besides eggs if you want.

Chase: I just said that eggs are fine.

Me: Well…can you just say “Yes, I would like to eat eggs for breakfast,” to make me happy?

Chase: I said eggs are fine.

Me: Repeat after me: “Yes, I would like some eggs.”

Chase: If you put some eggs in front of me, I would eat them. Not unwillingly.

This is of course not to say that he isn’t capable of making definitive statements, He just can only do it when it comes to things that are in no way helpful. Examples:

“I like watching football for up to 9 hours a day.”

“Cookies are delicious.”

“I have to go poop.”

“If we are ever rich, I’m going to buy a Ferrari in bright yellow and no matter what anyone says I believe in my heart of hearts that people won’t think I’m a douchebag.”

I may have exaggerated the last line a little bit. Only the part about the color though. Even Chase would have to admit that yellow Ferraris are only owned by douchebags, but he won’t actually say that definitively.