Last weekend told my cousin Polly I was going to the Coon Dog Day parade and asked if she wanted to join. I explained it by saying, “The parade is completely open to whoever wants to be in it, no registration required and oh by the way did I forget to mention it’s a podunk Southern mountain town that has been known to have real live Hillbillys?” And then she was all like “I am IN!”
So here’s what happens when you go to a small town festival in the South that allows anyone with a pulse to be in their parade:
People will just drive their busted up old trucks down the street with a couple of their buddies sitting in the bed. Who need to decorate when you have a paint job like that?
You have people who finally figure out something to do with their stuffed raccoon collection. Of course – staple them to a golf cart. The flamingo of course got to come too since it wouldn’t be fair to leave him at home alone.
You get to see the Hillbilly Clan in all their glory (I am not making this up or being a judgmental snob – just read the sides of those cars).
A side note – those women on the bottom right photo were completely drunk out of their minds and it was all I could do not to jump up there and join them.
There were “clowns” AKA children doing things that make me think medicating kids isn’t as bad of an idea as people make it sound.
There was this little guy, who was so freakin cute I’m gonna ignore the fact that most likely all he had to do to qualify to be the “Prince” was to be blessed with parents that have a nice car and above-average poster-making skills.
The grand finale was the “King Coon” who was accompanied by a dozen pink Elvis. Cause of course, who wouldn’t see the connection between raccoons, Elvis, and pink guitars?
In short – the parade this year delivered like Domino’s! Polly and I are already discussing our strategy for getting better seats next year cause it gets crowded on that tiny street.
There are of course other benefits to the festival besides the parade. Like the fact that you can eat shaved ice for breakfast at 10AM and no one will look at you strangely. Unless they’re wondering why you didn’t get a bloomin’ onion to go with it.
BTW – did you people know that they now have a “cake batter” flavor for snow cones? Who’s bright idea was that? Uggh….
And of course, there were Coon Dogs. With all the festivities the dogs actually get overlooked by most of the people that attend. I’m gonna assume that it probably doesn’t ruin their day.