Definitively Annoying

Chase is not a fan of definitive statements. And by not a fan, I mean that he will dance around saying them until I am 5 seconds away from stabbing him in the eye. Here’s how a typical conversation about breakfast goes in our house:

Me: Do you want eggs for breakfast?

Chase: I would eat some eggs.

Me: Right, but is that what you want, or would you prefer something else?

Chase: I mean, eggs are fine. I’ll eat them.

Me: This isn’t a trick question or anything, I can make you something besides eggs if you want.

Chase: I just said that eggs are fine.

Me: Well…can you just say “Yes, I would like to eat eggs for breakfast,” to make me happy?

Chase: I said eggs are fine.

Me: Repeat after me: “Yes, I would like some eggs.”

Chase: If you put some eggs in front of me, I would eat them. Not unwillingly.

This is of course not to say that he isn’t capable of making definitive statements, He just can only do it when it comes to things that are in no way helpful. Examples:

“I like watching football for up to 9 hours a day.”

“Cookies are delicious.”

“I have to go poop.”

“If we are ever rich, I’m going to buy a Ferrari in bright yellow and no matter what anyone says I believe in my heart of hearts that people won’t think I’m a douchebag.”

I may have exaggerated the last line a little bit. Only the part about the color though. Even Chase would have to admit that yellow Ferraris are only owned by douchebags, but he won’t actually say that definitively.

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11 Thoughts on “Definitively Annoying

  1. Mary on August 1, 2012 at said:

    I feel for you. How is he about telling you how something is after he eats it? If my husband says something is “good”, I know that he loves it & I should keep the recipe. Since I am more an eye rolling, groaning in agonized pleasure type, I have struggled with this lack of response.

    • Caroline on August 2, 2012 at said:

      oh, Chase just says that everything is “good” with almost no change in his tone! The more I think about this I realize I should just make what I want and ignore him…

  2. Polly on August 1, 2012 at said:

    hilarious. aunt sara and i enjoyed this this morning. ironically, she is making deviled eggs as it is being read:)

  3. I feel your pain, I have this exact conversation with my boyfriend almost daily.
    Just say what you want… Sheesh! LOL!

  4. This has to be a guy thing. I pull my hair out going through this with my boyfriend.

  5. Bryan on August 1, 2012 at said:

    This is freaking hysterical. Pure gold.
    I actually sometimes find myself saying similar non-committal statements to Michael, mostly about meals. Hmm. Maybe it is a guy thing.

  6. HAHA – hilarious!

  7. Molly on August 2, 2012 at said:

    My husband is SO the same way. Esp the first sentence if your husband would like eggs are not. Mine would say the same exact thing, “I’d eat some eggs.” It’s like, can you just say that you want eggs?? Argh. But that was too funny it made me chuckle reading it, and saying, “Yup, that is my husband.”

  8. Oh man, I can relate. Seriously husbands just say what you want! It makes life so much simpler. (And they say women are bad at sending mixed messages).

  9. Oh my gosh, I’m not alone! My boyfriend won’t make a definitive statement about food, things to buy for the house, any of the things I actually want to hear his opinion about. Also, conversations like this are typical:
    Me: Can you take the cat to the vet on Friday since you’re off work?
    Him: I’ll see what I can do.
    That actually means “yes,” but it took me forever to learn to interpret.
    I’m so glad It’s not just me! (Or him.)

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