I am self employed, meaning that I’m either working long hours or am sitting at home doing nothing. The problem with having a job that comes and goes is you are often left in the position of having a bank account full of money and a mountain of household chores to do. This can lead a person to surf Amazon.com, where she will rationalize that if she buys this cool new mop, mopping the floors will suddenly become a SUPER FUN activity, and the problem of avoiding household chores will be solved. You will have a clean home and never be bored. This scenario is of course just about as likely winning the lottery without ever buying a ticket.
Nonetheless, it was this exact series of events that led me to be excited when I received an email from Amazon that said “Your mop has shipped!” Yes indeed, I am excited about a new mop, which means I am both lame and old. I cannot decide if it would be worse for this mop to arrive and either A) I do not fall head over heels in love with mopping as I hoped, or B) that I will in fact think mopping is the greatest activity on the earth, meaning I should just throw out all my clothes that aren’t sweat pants since any hope of having a life will be gone at that point.
PS – I contemplated having a lame-a-thon of Facebook statues, but I worried I would lose some friends in the process. The sad thing is, I actually know people that post things like this:
“My new mop just came in! So excited!!!$%@!”
“Just took my new mop out for a “test drive” haha. My floors are soooo shiny!”
“Anyone want to come over and watch Dr. Phil in my new clean house??”
If I still have readers after this post, I will update you on the mop when it *gasp* arrives. Stay tuned…for more tales from a part-time housewife.