So yeah, I kinda feel like I talked up this post. Like, I totally promised you something amazing and now I’m having performance anxiety. But not the sexual kind. As much as I love biscuits I don’t find anything erotic about them. You understand, right? But basically, I feel like I need to totally blow your mind with this biscuits post. But not in a sexual way…but I already said that.
This is not off to a good start.
But hey, these are biscuits, which are totally awesome all by themselves, right? And really, I want to give you information that’s going to be useful first thing in the morning, before you’ve had a cup of coffee, brushed your teeth or thought for the millionth time “Why can’t I find job that would let me show up at noon but still leave by 6pm??” And really, that early in the day anything is mind-blowing. So, if you aren’t amazed when you read this right now, just wait until you make these biscuits at 6am. Total game changer.
Here’s the thing – I am a breakfast person. I need food in the morning so that I don’t run people off the road when they turn without signalling, or tell people to f#@k off when they ask how my day is. Seriously, the world is safer if I eat breakfast before I leave my apartment. And I am not a cereal person. If I’m going to get out of bed the least that someone can provide me is a hot breakfast. Of course, that “someone” is me so I have to come up a plan for a hot breakfast that is easy to make, or it will ultimately end up in me throwing a frying pan across the kitchen when the egg yolk breaks. Egg yolks breaking at 6am? That. Is. Not. Acceptable.
My solution is frozen biscuits. Because I can make & flash freeze them on the weekend. Because first thing in the morning all I have to do is turn on the oven and slide them in. Because I can have a hot and filling breakfast that is reallllllyyyy hard to screw up.
First you’re gonna whip up some classic buttermilk biscuits. DON’T do this at 6AM!! You will throw your bowl of dough against the wall. And waste butter. It’s not good. Do this on a weekend afternoon. With music playing, and a smile on your face. I like to use a little whole wheat flour, cause I’m cool like that.
BTW – a good trick is to roll your biscuit dough out and cut them into rectangles. This eliminates the need to re-roll the dough, which results in better biscuits. It also results in square and sort-of-triangular biscuits, which are just fine unless you’re trying to impress someone. But honestly, if someone judges you because of biscuits they’re probably an asshole.
Okay – now space the dough out on a baking sheet and freeze for about an hour. Then transfer all the biscuits to a ziploc bag, and then throw them back in the freezer.
Here’s the cool part – as soon as you wake up, crawl over to the oven and turn it up to 450 degrees F. Put some biscuits on a baking sheet and throw them in the cold oven. 25-35 minutes later you will have cooked and flaky biscuits! Because it takes a while for the dough to thaw, the butter will not have dispersed by the time the oven is up to temperature. So, no worries about having dense biscuits.
Now, you can go crazy. You can fry up some sausage and make a sausage biscuit. (I used veggie sausage but obviously go with what you want. I won’t judge. I’m not an asshole.)
Or…you can scramble an egg and put it in biscuits with cheese.
Or…..or!!! you can make a SAUSAGE, EGG, and CHEESE biscuit. (this is way more mind-blowing if you’re reading it at 6AM – FYI)
And of course, for lazy people (Me! Me!) you can always spread on whatever jam/butter/PUMPKIN BUTTER you have on hand.
Biscuits. Hot Breakfast. #Winning.
Buttermilk Biscuit Dough
I make these with a mix of all-purpose and whole wheat flour to add a little added nutrition to my breakfast, but you can also do just all of one flour
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups whole-wheat flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup butter, diced and chilled
1 1/4 cup buttermilk
In a large bowl, mix flours, baking powder, sugar, and salt. Working quickly, throw butter into flour mix and work it in with your hands until little balls form. (you can also do this in a food processor)
Make a well in the center of the flour/butter mixture and add buttermilk all at once. With a large spoon stir mixture quickly, just until it’s blended and begins to mass and form a sticky dough. (If dough appears to be dry, add 1 to 2 tablespoons additional buttermilk.)
Immediately turn dough onto a generously floured surface. Using floured hands, knead briskly 8 to 10 times until cohesive ball of dough forms, but do not over knead. Gently flatten dough with hands to even thickness. Using a floured rolling pin, lightly roll dough to a 3/4-inch thickness.
Cut the biscuits out and arrange on heavy baking sheet. Try to get as many as you can out of the first roll (square biscuits will solve this issue). Freeze the biscuit dough for 1 hour, then remove from baking sheet and throw in a plastic ziploc bag. Leave them in the freezer until you’re ready to use.
If you want to eat them now: Bake in a pre-heated oven at 450 degrees F for 8 to 10 minutes. If they are not frozen, you MUST pre-heat. Got it? Good.
To Cook Frozen Biscuits:
Arrange however many biscuits you want to cook on a baking sheet. Place it in a cold oven and turn it up to 450 degrees F. Bake for about 30 minutes, or until biscuits have started to turn brown around the edges. If you want them golden brown, brush with a little egg was before baking.