This is an actual voicemail my Aunt Sara left me last week. Seriously people – I CANNOT make this shit up.
A little background – I suggested to my stepfather (Henry) that I thought it would be nice for us to host a holiday get-together and that maybe I could do something a little different by cooking a “Feast of the Seven Fishes” which is a Italian seafood meal typically cooked at Christmas time. So, I asked him to just throw it out there when holiday plans were being discussed, and 24hrs later I got this from my Aunt Sara.
A message to Sara: although you have taught me that one should not ever try to f*@k with your Christmas Eve dinner, I hope you have now learned that you should never f@#k with a girl that has a blog. Love ya honey, bye!
**Please note** – this voicemail is NOT rated G. Plan accordingly.
OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Christmas Eve is ruined… if only there was another Christmas-like day to experience your Feast o’ Fishies…
oh sh*t, lmao. I can’t believe she took it there. So, what are the odds you’re Xmas Eve dinner won’t be awkward?
LOL – it should be the same as usual since she is ALWAYS like this. This is just the first time I have her recorded
I laugh harder EVERYTIME I listen to it!!!! It is AMAZING… LOVE YOU HONEY!
oops…went other wrong feed!
I can’t believe you would post such filth….I hope that woman doesn’t have any children!
LOL, that would certainly be a shame, wouldn’t it?
I saw the title of your blog “pink basil” and was immediately attracted..I mean..best colour ever? Pink. Basil?? Awesome. Then the first post I see is this voicemail post. Enough said. I love your blog. Thanks for making my day!
Thanks for making MY day!
I am gonna be honest, that was awesome. It is so nice to know that everyone else’s families are just as dysfunctional!! Wow, happy holidays to Aunt Sara, someone needs a good romp in the hay…and maybe a zanie…
oh lord, don’t give her any medication! She wouldn’t be half as much fun that way! LOL
Ok, more laughs than I’ve had in ages!!! It’s even funnier when you know the players. I do have to post for those who don’t know Sara that she brings the same spirit when interacting with Fair, which is just perfect. I wish I could do half as well!
Wow! I’m speechless!
If you would like to come to Texas for the holidays, my family would gladly give up whatever we normally cook for your “Feast of the Seven Fishes”!
That is hilarious!! Someone seems to be very self-important. Have you feast and enjoy! Her loss.
This exchange seems to strike a familiar chord for everyone. I just shared the recording with a court reporter who broke out in laughter and then began talking of the foods set in stone at her house at holiday time. Even HT got a good laugh out of this one.
hahahahahahahaha!!!! I love this. Thank you for sharing
Hi. It’s your new reader, Sharon. So your pumpkin won ton recipe was just over on Tasty Kitchen, and while that sounds very lovely, I just want to say that nobody is going to f#%* with my pumpkin puree. Not on a Thursday. Maybe on Friday. Love your blog, honey! Bye!
Love it
This is the funniest thing I’ve heard in months. Can I be adopted by your Aunt Sara. She’s full of holiday cheer and then gets right down to business. Love ya blog, bye.
I have to tell y’all, that the Aunt Sara (not me, just my best friend) featured in the voicemail is not self-important, is a great cook who know how to put the perfect meal together (although her description of creole eggs turns my primitive Yankee stomach), and is the one person you want at every holiday gathering. Nothing is as much fun if she isn’t there to join in.
And, trust me, I’ve done the traditional Italian Christmas Eve dinner and you are much better off with whatever my girlfriend Sara suggests. Love to your mom and step-dad. Tell Aunt Sara she needs to come home to Georgia more often. We miss her here! Love you honey.
I laughed so much. I’m Italian and we do the Feast of the Seven Fishes EVERY year. We have never had a Christmas Eve where there wasn’t seven different types of fish. It’s an amazing and delicious tradition, and I hope one day you too will be able to partake.
Love & Confections,
Terri
Way to go Sara!
I’m with Sara “L” on Aunt Sara’s creole eggs, but if they are anything like her devil eggs, I am sure they are a delightful compliment to the country ham.
Great blog, Caroline! Wishing you a happy holiday with your mother, Henry, your extended family and especially Aunt Sara! P.S. – Better take a supply of earplugs for all the children.