Yesterday I went to a workout class with my Aunt Sara, who of course was kind enough to introduce me to every woman that was standing next to, in front of, and behind me. This was all well and good until about fifteen minutes into class when I realized that I had a wedgie and really, really needed to pick it except that now all of these women know me. So no matter which way I turn the person who saw me pick the wedgie would know my name and who my parents are and they would judge me. And let’s be clear, even in a town as small as Hendersonville I wouldn’t expect them to run off and tell anyone that they saw some girl pick a wedgie in gym class, but whenever I saw them again I would know that they know that I did that and it would be awkward. At least for me.
Remember this when you’re in a workout class and you try to say hi to the girl next to you and she acts uninterested in becoming friends: She’s not a bitch, she just wants to pick her wedgies in the open and not have to speak to you when she sees you in the grocery store.