As I’ve told you all before, Chase and I are moving to NC in a few short months. We began the discussion of moving last year, but our decision was made final by a series of events that led to myself inheriting property from a family member. The specific details will remain private, but basically, we have a house waiting for us in NC.
When it first became a possibility that we would be getting a house, my head was filled with nothing but excitement at the idea of Chase and I fixing up and re-decorating our first home together. Once everything was confirmed this past June, I still felt excitement, but the first inklings of sadness began to creep into my consciousness. As D-day, or perhaps M-day, gets closer and closer, the voices of regret grow louder and are drowning out all of the positivity I had built up. My thoughts are filled constantly with everything that I’ll miss:
Wandering down to my neighbor’s apartment for an after-work cocktail.
Heading to In-N-Out with Chase where we order Animal Fries, extra crispy, and eat them on our couch while watching silly TV shows.
Planning last minute sushi nights with my girlfriends and laughing so loudly we disturb the table next to us.
Grilling out with friends in and sipping cocktails on patios in February.
All of the friendships that we have made here in CA. I ache every time spend time with a friend and realize that soon we won’t be close to one another.
When I read about other bloggers that are in the process of moving, they write as though the entire experience is nothing but rainbows and unicorns, and I don’t understand why I seem to be alone in feeling that moving means leaving friends, favorite places, our first apartment. It should be a new beginning, but it feels like an ending.
I realize of course that there are many people out there that would love to have my problems. Inheriting a house is not something that warrants complaint in the times we live in, and I do try to count my blessings whenever those sad feelings creep in. I’m sure it will pass soon, and I know that there are good things coming to quiet them down. I must try to live in the moment, with the constant chant in my head that this is not an ending; it is a beginning.
This is a beginning. This is a beginning. This is a beginning.
As always, thanks for reading xoxo