For the past few weeks Chase and I had been counting the days until the moving truck would be loaded since we thought at that point we would finally be able to relax and unload some of the stress we had been carrying. I didn’t realize until after the truck was loaded that the only thing left to do would be to say good-bye, and the real heaviness would finally settle in. I couldn’t deny the fact that we were, in fact, leaving our home, friends, and everything that had been familiar and comforting over the past five years. In essence, the first real adventure of our adult lives was officially over.
I write this from Kansas, where we are spending the Christmas holidays with Chase’s family until we continue onto North Carolina, and our new adventure will finally begin. Even though we’re moving to my hometown, an area I know like the back of my hand, I have no idea what to expect. Will we fit in? Will we make friends? Will it be everything we’ve dreamed of or will we regret it? Watching my California friends posting on Facebook and realizing that I won’t be joining them in a few short weeks to catch up over drinks and laugh about our holiday misadventures has me struggling not to be overtaken by waves of sadness. When the holidays are over we won’t feel the usual relief of being back home in California, because our home is no longer there.
I’ve already decided that my New Year’s resolution is to relinquish my self-pitying feelings and to embrace all of the wonderful things that I do have in my life. Until then though, I’m going to allow myself just a few more days of mourning for our old life, and prepare for the new one that will come soon.
As always, thanks for reading. xoxox