Someone is Winning, and it’s not me

I resigned myself early on in our co-habitation that Chase was more likely to reveal himself to be a werewolf than change a roll of toilet paper, but there’s another menial household chore that is absolutely driving me nuts.

Common conversation in our house:

Me: Is there a reason you put the empty tea jug next to the recycling bin, as opposed to in it?

Chase: Because it’s large and fills it up quickly.

Me: Okay…but if it fills up then you just take it out, right?

Chase: But I won’t have to do it as often if I don’t put the jug in there.

Me: Ummm…but see the point of having a bin is so that we DON’T have trash lying around on the floor like bums. And it’s not like there’s a maximum amount of times we can take the trash out. I’m pretty sure we can even do it multiple times a day if necessary.

(Chase has by now put is headphones back on in order to make it go away)

Another common conversation:

Me: Is there a reason you put the tea jug next to the recycling bin, as opposed to in it?

(Honestly, you have no idea how much Arizona tea that boy drinks, and I have yet to ever see the stupid jug go INTO the bin)

Chase: Because it’s full and wouldn’t fit.

Me: Well, why wouldn’t you just take the recycling out then? That’s what normally happens when a bin is full.

Chase: I’ll do it later.

Me: I think you and I have different definitions of “later”. See, I think it means “in the foreseeable future” and you seem to think it means “I will put this off for as long as possible until someone else (Caroline) does it for me”.

Chase: I’ll do it later.

Me: Please clarify when “later” is.

Chase: Later.

Me: Are you going to forget about this conversation in the next 5 minutes?

Chase: Probably.

Me: So my choices are to take out the recycling myself, or resort to becoming an annoying, nagging wife? Either way I feel like I lose…

Chase: Which means I win. Winning!!

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8 Thoughts on “Someone is Winning, and it’s not me

  1. bonnie on December 3, 2011 at said:

    Haha– I hope you have better luck with this than I’ve had. Me: is there some reason you didn’t put the banana peel (or paper plate or apple core, etc.) directly into the trash instead of leaving it here on the counter right next to the cabinet that contains the garbage pail? This is after THIRTY YEARS of marriage. Good luck!

  2. Mary on December 3, 2011 at said:

    Dirty dishes, recycling, compost bin, laundry, and, perhaps my favorite…I can leave his c*%p sitting on the middle of the stairs for him to take up or down, & he will walk around it for DAYS. I can’t believe I have to say, “Will you please (insert request)(insert timeframe)?” Good luck.

  3. Val on December 3, 2011 at said:

    On a family vacation, my mom and I did an experiment. The only task my husband and stepdad had was to take out the garbage. They weren’t of course. So we took out the bag, put it in de doorway to the kitchen, right in the middle, both of them stepped over it TWICE! We sat in the kitchen in awe of the invisibility powers of this huge black bag. Quite astounding actually.

  4. I feel your pain, I have had that exact same conversation a million times. MEN! can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em, even though somedays it would be nice!!

  5. Husband: *kiss, kiss, leading kiss*
    Wife: Later
    Husband: When is later?
    Wife: Later
    Husband: In the forseeable future?
    Wife: Have you taken that the garbage out?

    I would personally prefer to not have to barter physical intimacy, but given men’s high threshhold for messiness, and low threshhold for abstinence, I’ve found it useful at times to “explain” things to them in a way they understand.

  6. christine on December 11, 2011 at said:

    I want to beat him with that tea jug because that is my day to day life with my husband and it drives me bananas!

  7. At any given time we have a milk jug, two Odwalla juice cartons, an empty 2 liter of Vernor’s, and a few cans of pop sitting by the sink. Why the sink you might ask? Certainly not because I plan to wash and reuse these things. Nope, it’s just because my dear, dear husband doesn’t want to fill up the trash…because it’s his job to take it out. I should just stop putting his clothes in the dirty laundry…because it fills up too fast…and then I actually have to do the laundry. Although I’d probably be the one suffering from the stink before he would notice.

  8. So this is what i have to look forward to huh?

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