I figure the best way to move on from the whole “you’re distasteful for writing about how much you and your husband fight” incident is to return to writing about my marriage with more stories about FIGHTING. Cause I will not let some person I don’t know bring me down. And it’s still is the best material I have. Don’t you wish you were married to ME?
Here’s what will happen. Chase and I will get into a fight about something he said/did that pissed me off. We used to get in really heated screaming fights when we first dated but now we are MATURE MARRIED PEOPLE and so we stomp off into opposite corners of the apartment and don’t speak until someone has calmed down enough to form non-insulting sentences. This normally works fine except that I’m not always the kind of person that should be left alone with her own thoughts, because I will continue to have another fight with Chase IN MY HEAD for the next hour or two. I will convince myself that he is just a jerk and selfish and how could I be married to someone that is so insensitive?
And here’s where the crazy part happens. I know, right? Like, isn’t this enough to already be categorized as “non-sane”? I will then proceed to come up with the PERFECT comebacks for Chase’s imaginary arguments, in effect slaying him and making him realize what a super intelligent and angelic wife I am, and how he should be so lucky to be married to someone so perfect.
Then, I wait. For real-life Chase to say something that I have already pre-determined he will say so I can lay the smack-down on him with my well-crafted arguments. And you know what is almost always the first thing out of his mouth when this happens?
“Hey babe, I’m really sorry for saying/doing that thing earlier. I really love you and hope you forgive me.”
Don’t even start with the “you have such a great husband” crap – THAT RAT BASTARD JUST STOLE MY THUNDER. Cause seriously, I can’t very well go off on him for APOLOGIZING now can I? And I have to face the fact that I have just wasted precious hours of my life perfecting arguments to a fight that is never going to happen except for inside my narcissistic head.
So yeah, sometimes I wish Chase was a jerk. So I could be RIGHT. To men who think that women place a high value in being right – I can pretty much guarantee you have underestimated some of us.