When we first moved into this house, our days were filled with constant discussion of all the changes we were envisioning. We walked through each room and commented on what colors we would paint, where we would replace carpet with hardwood, if they would become offices or bedrooms, etc. After a few months of living through the hard work and stress that such transformations take, those discussions have tapered off. I’ve realized that the only way we’re making it out of this intact is to focus on one project at a time. Now we don’t mention installing blinds unless the sun is actually in our eyes. Anything that isn’t an immediate concern is tuned out completely.
I had envisioned myself posting lots of cute tutorials on home improvement, documenting all the work that Chase and I were putting into the house and sharing our knowledge. You know, like this couple. I have learned that there are some people that can take on home improvement projects and make them seem easy, even fun. We are not that couple. The truth is that we daily feel like we’re just keeping our heads above water, and the thought of trying to take artful photos seems completely out of reach, as does writing an intelligent post on our thought process. After a week of stress and arguments, the last thing I want to do is re-live how many Youtube videos and conflicting opinions we consulted on how to stain our concrete floor before I finally just told Chase that I would do whatever he felt was best and tried to take my hands off it.
Remodeling has created a cyclical pattern in our relationship. We begin by looking ahead to the next project and excitedly talk about how great it will look. We are naively optimistic on the amount of work and money our vision will require. When it comes time to make choices we begin to bicker and try to force the final decision on each other since neither of us wants to be the one taking blame if something goes wrong, or if our money is wasted. It’s exhausting, not just physically but emotionally.
At some point…we hit a breakthrough. Whether it’s because things actually start to work out the way we hoped, or because we finally accept that it doesn’t matter whether or not that paint color is the exact shade we envisioned, there is always a moment of relief when we let out the breath we realize we’ve been holding the entire time. And we remember that together we’re building a home, our home, a forever place, and it really is going to be amazing.
Thanks for reading. xoxo